Having unloaded part of my ire on the male side of the character spectrum, I once more return to the topic of character archetypes I can’t stand. And this time, I’m going after the fairer sex.
Tits will not save you from my wrath. You will, however, notice that this article is shorter. That doesn’t mean I think there’s less issue with female characters, on the contrary, I think there’s more. It’s just that they are more concentrated around a few annoying clusters. As before, this is not a ranking or count down, and it’s just a few things in entirely random order.
1) The sexless one
As we all know, women do not have a sex drive, nor ever want sex, nor ever express any interest in sex or any pleasure other than what they get from serving their chosen mate.
Any women actively seeking sex is a slut or some temptress. Or at the very least she has been already broken and became a slave and/or addict of the dick.
It’s almost as if the very thought of a sexually experienced, active and assertive woman strikes fear into the fragile male ego.
2) The virgin
Women are like clothing; unless you’re the one breaking her in for the first time, she’s a hand-me-down. As such, any woman that was already taken is used goods, unworthy of true love and ruined for marriage forever.
Additionally, it is a well-known fact that all virgins bleed profusely during their first time. Don’t believe in any propaganda that says otherwise.
Or maybe once more, it’s just another aspect of fragile male insecurity trembling in fear that a woman might have someone else to compare with them. Hmmm…
3) Bigger is betterer
Big boobs are big sexy, and big ass is big sexy. Thus it stands to reason that bigger boobs and bigger ass are even hotter. And when we crank that up to 10, what stops us from going even beyond?!
Well, apart from human anatomy and any sense of aesthetics? Big breasts are indeed a key point of charm, but in human terms, big breasts are not the kind of big breasts we see in erotic fiction. There is, in fact, a decent spectrum of breasts, many of which we’d consider big.
In erotic fiction though, it seems to more or less scale as flat, cow tits and finally more tits than person.
4) The personality void
I like women with well-developed personality traits, such as…
-
- a good cook,
- likes pink things,
- possesses hair accessory,
- vaguely doe-eyed
- speaks male MC’s name a lot,
- bleeding approximately 5l of blood during her first time but still enjoying the sex,
- is tsundere,
- is yandere,
- is ______dere.
You might say none of the above are personality traits, but you just don’t understand the genius of copying worn out Japanese romance tropes!
If you give a woman an actual personality, you either intend to break her into a mindless fuckpig who’s destiny is to forever pogostick on an endless line of dicks… or you are making the grave mistake of possibly creating a female character with actual character. What next? Give her agency?
5) The succubus
Sex demons are just a played out topic; I don’t even feel like I want to comment on this much or be sarcastic. You can definitely do something interesting with a character of this sort, but really, the issue is that it’s just a way to get a sexual character into the story. You don’t need an excuse to jump someone’s dick if you feed on sexual energies.
6) Affection interest
Long long ago, the male character once did something nice to this character. Over many years, the interest on that bit of kindness blossomed into a debt that can be repaid in only one way.
Bending ner legs into a vaguely M-liked shape and letting him go to town on her puccy.
I feel that among some other things mentioned here and in the previous article, this is the kind of stuff that bad writers use in place of character chemistry. For some reason, though I find this particularly egregious.
7) Underdeveloped in the head
The natural equivalent to the 900-year-old loli is the character with a mature body and the mind of a child. She might be a robot, or she might have just fallen on her head one time too many, but she is most definitely not of full mental faculties. Heck, she might even be bound to some other (likely male) character by some form of contract, protocol or possibly currently thinks he’s her dad.
But hey, she has a smoking hot bod, and she’s of technically legal age, or at least she looks like it. So you know how it is, time to show her how to play doctor.
I’ll add that the actual show that awoke me to this form of speculative horror was Chobits. I still see her vapid gaze in my nightmares.
That’s the major archetypes that stand out to me as having the potential to kill any interest I might have in an item of erotic fiction. There are likely more, and you might know some, so why don’t you tell me what really grates your cheddar.
Esoteric Musings... 