Disclaimer: The following document fragment is presented from an in-character perspective, it should not be taken as the truth of the setting.
Context: People often mistakenly think that I put a lot of myself into the game. In a way I do, but not in the way most people seem to infer. So, allow me to indulge myself and put some of myself into the game. In this excerpt, a mage presents an introductory text for a self-help book, but does it matter that much that it’s a mage?
By means of the many paths you have taken in your life, you may be burdened by the scars of your mistakes and failures. The reminders of your shortcoming etched into the ontological fabric of your soul’s flesh.
They hurt, don’t they?
These wounds will never heal, and you will be marked by them to the end of your life and possibly beyond. Daunting to consider, no doubt, but remind yourself that to carry those scars requires strength. And thus, you can endure them through the remaining winding paths of your life because you are strong.
I ask you to heed my advice. I know the cold, wretched pain of a damaged soul well, and I have lived with it for a long time. Though not all I say may directly apply to you, at the very least, consider my words.
1) Seek the help of those who can ease your pain
Surround yourself with those who bring you comfort. Be it friends, family, or whatever else, that does not matter. Seek out their company. Do not be ashamed, though your soul may be broken and your body afflicted with shadows of those wounds, carry yourself with dignity. Feel not that you must consign yourself to solidarity nor that you should hide away from the gaze of others.
I understand the desire and the shame, but in loneliness, we die inside.
Likewise, seek the help of doctors, but only those who keep all six eyes open. Those among the blind may want to help you, but they shall obscure your condition with masks that cannot be trusted. Their minds reject the duality of existence, and they will be unable to provide you with the help you require. So instead, seek those of us who, by their own choice, aim to ease the suffering of other magi. Their care and advice will do you well.
2) The universal panacea is treacherous
It may tempt you to believe there is a cure for what ails you. A singular act that you may attain that will erase your pain and mend what is broken. That may indeed be the case, but consider the price and the difficulty of obtaining it. That is if it exists at all. Instead, remember, anything that tempts you by being within reach may be a trick or a further mistake you do not need to make. There are forces out there that wish to deceive and use you, and by promising you this cure, they may be able to hold sway over your will.
Trust instead in the little miracles of medicine, the chemical compounds, rituals and meditations we have developed over the centuries to address just such suffering. Those I advised you to trust will know what your body needs to ignore and overcome pain. Through them, it may be possible that you can live out your days without ever feeling the entire wretchedness of your wounds.
3) Avoid the little deaths
There is the death of the body, which we may also call the final death. But there are others, with less immediacy but equal in their ultimacy. The death of reason, which we call insanity, and the most wretched of them all, the death of the will to live. In suffering, we often find ourselves faced with them.
That is why you must steel your mind against them. The more attention you give to your pain, the more bitter and violent its bite will become. Thus, distract yourself with the pleasures of life, whatever that may be that remains for you. Let your senses drink them in and use them as a shield against all that erodes your will.
Your path will be difficult. But it is through enduring and overcoming adversity that we become the apotheosis of our own actualization.
Be well.
~Iveta Zelenka
Esoteric Musings... 